Module 4: Ways to Stay Connected with Families After the MDT Meeting 

Advisory Board Feature

Multidisciplinary Meetings

“I’m going to go with the emotion of it first. I think they need to know that parents are we call it a grieving cycle. And I’m not I always say like this is not to offend anybody, but there’s research behind this that when you get a child diagnosed disability, that there can be some grieving. And in that grieving, there’s so many different emotions that could be in there. I like for professionals to know that parents can be anywhere in that grieving cycle. It can be in denial, it could be in sadness, depression, it could be shock. There’s so many. It could be fear like, Oh my gosh, I wasn’t prepared for this or there’s so many there’s so many different emotions. And I think it’s important for them to know. And I think that’s why empathy is really important. I’m always like, like even if their smile, like I could go smiling at a meeting and you have no idea like what I’m truly feeling under there or like what just happened with my kiddo to disability and I go to a meeting and I’m spelling but what you don’t know that it’s really hard or I or I was really sad and I had to work through this because a lot of parents don’t tell educators that, right? I’d say most don’t. I gotta go with that. It’s emotional, it’s overwhelming even for anybody, I don’t care if they’re president of a company or, you know, or a stay-at-home parents who I think that’s probably the hardest job in the world. I don’t care what they do, what job they have with socio-emotional, what culture. I just think across the board, every person, no matter who they are and what they do there, some type of emotional grieving process, whether they want to call it grieving or not. That can just be universally recognized that it’s not a weakness, that it’s normal. This is life, like there’s research behind that, it’s normal. I know people might say, well, that doesn’t have anything to do with special education. It does that that that affects the parents’ communication, that affects the way they, they’re seeing everything that affects how they feel about special education.  I know it would’ve been great if I would’ve maybe been told or read something that said you could fill all these emotions that it’s normal. So, I wouldn’t have felt like a bad parent for feeling bad. It’s like I didn’t feel bad about my son, feel bad about the situation. But it can be interpreted in different ways. Then I wish I would have read like you’re going to have a ton of questions and you’re not going to know all the answers and that can be frustrating. You’re not alone. And you might cry. You’re not a lot. Like there’s going to be people who could talk you through it and tons of people. And it’s okay if you don’t know all the answers. I wish I would have had. One of like I said, I need somebody to tell me it’s going to be okay because everybody is okay is different. My okay Is different from your okay. So don’t tell me it’s going to be okay. But tell me that I’m going to have a lot of questions and you will get the answers and it’ll be challenging, but you’ll get there together. I guess. I think it would be a great message. And maybe that goes back to the emotion too. I guess the emotional today.”  Jenn

“The first time I reach out to them… We talk and …Sometimes they can be very emotional, so I know they’re going to need more support. So, I try and reach out to them. And two weeks later maybe it’s just the email. “I’m going to go ahead and make this referral for you if you need anything.” I try not to be too aggressive with the communication. And I oftentimes tried to make it digital so that they could respond when they have the time. There’s nothing worse than getting a phone call when you’re in the middle of carpool and the kids screaming in the backseat – then I’m going be seen as a stressful entity in their life. But if they can follow up on their own time, that helps. . .When it comes to multiple communications, I really tried to put it into a format where I am not associated with any stress. . . If I’m going to send them information, I’m not going to give them a 56-page document. I’ll read it for them. Or maybe I’ll attach the document, but I’ll put some highlighted [portions in the email]. . . “Here’s the phone number for you.” I can alleviate a little bit of their burden very slowly. Sometimes they look at me a year later and think, “she’s not so bad”. I never take it personally either. And I’m very patient with them because it’s not that they’re angry that I want to suggest that there might be a developmental disability. They just needed time to process. They weren’t ready. And I get that.” Georgia

“There is one school psychologist that before the meeting starts and takes like 10 min before the meeting is scheduled for 3:30 pm, but the parents are being asked to be there at 03:10 pm. So, she takes the time to explain the whole process. And then everybody comes in. And then instead of reading item by item, she actually goes to the point.” Witnessed by Interpreter

“And then what did we need to know how to help that child? Yeah. Is there anything about MDT like but meditate, disciplinary or the IEP Individualized Education Program meetings that you wish. Families knew more about going into those meetings. Not just the fact that knowing the readings and then you have all the players at the table like, you know, the social emotion, everything that every aspect of what a team is involved in. Sometimes they can be intimidating to walk into that room and have all those people sitting at the table without knowing who they all are. Taking your time to go through the IEP.” Linda